aggravating situations.

yeah. i've been known to do that. isn't it childish? to just push those buttons? when will is pissed with me (which isn't often because i'm damn near perfect) if i don't push his buttons i've already thought about pushing them. & those thoughts make me giggle. for real. that does not make him happy.

so my sis is having outpatient knee surgery tomorrrow. mom & i are going down there to help sis out. she has 3 kids & a husband (who might as well be a child himself...but he does work) anyway. we are going to help her. she mentioned me coaching soccer. ha. i don't watch that shit. don't play it, either. no clue how that's going to go. i might have to cuss out a ref, though. be warned.

but here's what i'm thinking: she won't be able to walk around freely for a day or so. she already told me the wheelchair they're putting her in is the kind that she can't roll by herself, so she has to have a push....ahem.

this is the perfect time for me to bitch slap her. i mean. come. on. it is the opportunity of a lifetime. i might do it. or just writing about it & almost pissing my pants might be enough. i'll let you know when i get back into town...

things i/we have said to/about the dogs...

*do you think it would hurt if we thumped touched his balls?

*quit skateboarding on that bone. it makes too much noise.

* don't hump daddy's head.

* i'm the only one that humps mommy.

* quit licking the soap bubbles.

* if you drink a bunch of water & throw up i'm not cleaning it up.

* we can't have sex in front of the dog...it'll scare him to death.

* is it too hard to take him into the bathroom with you while you shit use it?

* if you bite my ass one more time i am going to tear you up.

just as a side note: i came out of the bathroom the other night from taking my bath. will was sitting in the chair with his back to me. he heard me come out of the bathroom. i did one of those scary holler/laugh things to the younger dog because he was staring at me. will almost came out of his skin. & he covered his head. ha hahahah...

How my name came about...

so. will told me lastnight that i should tell how this nickname came about. ok. i'm down with that.

THEN. he said i'll write a blog. i said: "you mean a post." he says: "no. a blog." i get all high & mighty...cause i've been blogging for a week now. "A POST!"....sorry guys. but i think he's hell bent on writing a post here. it might be boring. just hang with me. we'll get through it.

anyway. back to how i got this nickname. i am getting ready to give out some personal information. don't stalk me. it's not worth it. i do not put out. will knows. && i have a 38 & i'm looking for a reason to shoot it. seriously. it's been a while.

wow. i think i have ADD or something. on we go. my other married name was Butler. where i work during the summer came up with a hilarious nickname for me last year. J. But. yeah. it's pretty freakin funny. i liked it. i enjoyed the same name again this year (i've been divorced since '01 or '02, by the way)......

UNTIL. we got engaged. will proposed in june. so i came back to work & not 2 weeks later i had two options for my new nickname. J. How or J. Ho...obviously you know which i picked. it was put up to vote. the cooler of the two obviously won out.

i think will just used me. to make sure everyone knew how manly he is. he got me to agree to take his name. people have nicknamed me because of it. & i just told everyone. does he think he owns me?

wowza. he's fast.

My future husband is a good man. I have always felt comfortable & protected with him. Friday proved it for me. I won't go into details here; because they're personal....but he sure is protective over his family & the ones he loves. && his reaction time is phenomenal! Seriously, I was impressed! I love you Will.

Finding My Bridal Shoes...

will & i went to charleston a couple of weeks ago. one thing i had on my mind was finding my "perfect" wedding shoes. they would not be white. red or hot pink. definitely HIGH heels. i knew i had to look while we were there && i kinda thought i'd find them. oooh la la. i saw some kate spade sparkly silver heels that were beau-ti-ful & i fell in love! $295 made me queasy, though. i'm cheap. thrifty. sooo not spending $295 on shoes; wedding or not! along comes the steve madden store. i tried on a few pairs of shoes with will watching on in boredom. he actually noticed the weirdness of my sales girls' bangs more than what i was trying on. he did say yes or no. i could tell he didn't love anything i tried on more than i did! my sweet girl (with weird bangs) brings over red high heels. && announces "i don't know if you'd even like these but....they're 50% off & left in only your size.??!!" "whaaaat?" 50% off? hand me those. in my head - - "oh dear. i hope these bitches work. they're red. does will see that fat roll as i lean over. don't bust your ass or he'll swear you'll be killed on the wedding day. oh. oh. oh. hallelujah! they fit. they're perfect!" - - so i ask will "what do you think?" he says "i really like them. they look really good." OMG i am in shoe heaven. && total price was...drumroll, please...$26.87. seriously. we went straight back to our hotel & ordered bloody marys. i took pictures on my phone & immediately sent them to mom...she loves them, too. the only thing that makes me sad is that i cannot (will not...something new) wear them before 5/21/11. oh well. i will dance my ass off & show those shoes off like nobodys' business. just wait.